There’s a lot in my head right now, a lot of responsibility on my shoulders.
I’m quite comfortable in a role of philosopher, vision holder, space holder, and teacher. I find myself now responsible for researching and budgeting, not just for myself, but for provisions for my family – budgeting thousands or tens of thousands of dollars of my parents’ money. Permits, codes, legal requirements that I myself might be comfortable finding ways to slip under the local government, but not others, not an institution.
Many pieces, much to learn, experience to be gained just by doing.
I fear that I don’t hold all of those pieces, that I’m forgetting something, that at the key moment, I won’t have my wits about me. The discussion with the county planning department.
I tend to want to hide, to relax, to not think, but the time for me to perform is now.
Juggling.
Internet, tobacco, reading, drinking, sleeping too much.
Work, job, survival, responsibilities.